Coaching is a process that aims to improve people’s life and maximise their performance. Wendy is a facilitator of learning, and instead of focusing on the distant past or future, she helps other dancers to improve their hustle and earning potential in the ‘here and now’. In other words, she is helping them to learn. Together with her, you are also able to learn how to use your potential to make more profit, have more fun and success at work.
“I grew up practising gymnastics and soccer and always had an active boyish type of energy about me. I have four brothers and no sisters. I always felt drawn towards the stripping industry and often checked to see if I had a dollar coin in my purse if I ever passed a peep show.”
Wendy is the creator of the website stripology.com. She grew up in Brisbane, then moved to Perth, Western Australia. Wendy studied science but deep inside always wanted to be a stripper. In the same time, she had body image issues and not enough self-confidence to be brave enough to get naked in front of strangers. One day she gathered her guts and took a big step towards her wildest dream and applied to a club. Her life changed utterly, but she never regretted her decision. She continued working as a genetic scientist and worked in a club on weekends. After long years she decided to give up on her daytime job and focused on her career as a dancer.
“I realised this is what I am meant to do, and I felt in flow and alignment. Now I have been dancing for 9+ years and have not returned to science.”
Sex work is hard work. Sometimes you need to have the night off to pamper yourself and make yourself feel fabulous. Me-time is essential, but we all need someone to talk to along the way. Sex work can be a lonely activity and can isolate you. If you feel alone, check out events in your area, meet people with similar interest and morals, and look for support groups. These kinds of groups can make you feel stronger and give you more confidence and self-belief. You have the feeling that you have your sisters standing right behind you and help you to work on yourself and your future goals, evolving into the person you want to be. Don’t forget: Your vibe also attracts your tribe. It’s essential to have a group of girls to support each other.
Today Wendy works with women who want to find their way and develop their spiritual gifts, ready to improve and take the next step in their hustle. Luckily these days, many sex worker offers to coach, and you can ask questions to more experienced sex workers about anything you’ve always wanted to learn.
“I have studied NLP life coaching, hypnosis, other energetic courses, body language courses, one on one professional sales coaching, spiritual and business coaches etc. The list goes on! I had picked what was relevant from all of these studies and combined that information with my own experience of nearly a decade of dancing.”
Getting help and support from people is nothing to be ashamed. The stigma around our community is so harmful. Instead of punishing yourself, try reaching out to those who can and want to help. The sisterhood and like-minded people can heal you. You’re worth so much to this community, but you have to take care of yourself to feel wholesome and balanced.
“I first started this journey to help other dancers, when a colleague of mine hadn’t made any money in weeks, like literally. I gave her a few tips and bang! She made over $1000.”
Our industry is complicated. We’re constantly interacting with people using our private zone, we let any people enter our comfort zone, and it’s so easy to collect all the negative vibes and energies from them. We have to deal with rejection, more than one time a night, and we have to participate in mind games. Indeed, it can easily lead us to burn out, alcohol and drug abuse. This job can be tough, feel free to reach out to someone and let’s all be here to love and support each other. The ladies in the clubs are willing to give you helpful advice if you’re new and trying to figure the things out. Wendy’s advice to beginners is peace of gold.
“Start journaling, researching and learning, treat this job as a career. Save of course, and invest your money. You can learn to become a stripper who earns consistent excellent money. You can create your future; you can invest in yourself and your life and be independent in all ways. Take control of your life, take control of your mindset and create a beautiful life and future!”
We get so much hate and loathing thrown on us from outsiders and clients, often even from the people within our circles like the management or co-workers. Wendy offers one to one coaching, and she conducts via Skype. You can ask her and talk openly about everything in a safe space. These services that she provides for others for personal development it’s very much needed in our industry. When you’re a sex worker, you need other people to chat openly about the issues of the job without judgement.
“They are tailored to each individual’s specific needs, so in our initial chat, I identify where there may be some issues. I love to focus on two sides of the hustle. One is the mindset, and the other is specific sales/hustle techniques and strategies. If there is some limitation interfering with the ability to hustle strongly, for example, lack of confidence, anxiety, poor beliefs around money or low self-worth etc., I address those using specific mindset techniques, and then I am clear to coach on proven strategies.”
All our worries affect our work and the money-making process because we’re feeling miserable all night comparing ourselves to other girls and focusing in on our flaws. It makes it harder to make money, and we end up crying our fake eyelashes off in the changing room. Shake that nasty little voice off that says “You look like shit, why would any guy want to spend money on you?” Stay motivated; it’s the only way to keep your head on straight in this game.
The first impression is significant. People will make it as quickly as you can say hello, within a few seconds of meeting, they make a solid impression of who you are. Body language often speaks louder than words. A warm and confident smile creates an excellent first impression and will put both you and the customer at a positive mindset.
“I have analysed the entire hustling process, from approaching the customer and all of the fine details involved in this process to converting the conversation to dances and finally onto the upgrades and extensions. It is a very detailed process, and there is no magic one line, that will help you to make money. You must be aware of your entire self, from grooming, body language, body placement, facial expressions, voice tonality, your self-talk, vibe and aura. It can be a simple process or a very complex one, depending on how you want to look at it.”
After all, hustling is a confidence game. Turn your skills into some money-making, be complimentary and friendly. The customer you hustle needs to believe that you’re doing him a favour, even if you’re only trying to get some hard-earned cash from him. Most people will brush you off, but you need to find the ones who stay around and convincing them to spend more money on you.
Everyone can make money and increase their confidence, but it takes a little work, says Wendy. Be open and confident. Open-mindedness is the key to hustle confidently, and it helps you to learn, grow and strengthen your belief in yourself. Wendy can teach you how to use your body language to show confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, make eye contact as you talk and smile. Remember the saying, “Smile and the world will smile back at you.” All of this will help you to build confidence and encourage both you and the customer to feel more relaxed.
“First of all, we must find out what the customers like or want and deliver this back to them. No point trying to sell someone a book when they want a jacket! So, find out what they want! That is your job as an entertainer. It is not what you can get; it is about what you can give! It is the customer’s night, we are their entertainers, with a giving mentality you will not meet with scarcity. If you are focused on what you want and what you are not getting/or can get etc., that is a scarcity mentality. People can smell it on you, and you will express it unconsciously and therefore come across as somehow a threat or untrustworthy and off-putting. Always remember, it’s about what can you GIVE not what can you GET!”
Wendy is a lovely, conscientious person. Our world needs more women like her, looking out for the well-being of others. She encourages other sex workers to be themselves and to contribute to our community. I agree with her, we all have something to give, and we are all very special people.
“I want customers to leave the club having spent their money and to feel positive about the experience and interaction, wanting to come back and spend more time and time again! Our industry is needed, and it is fantastic, and I genuinely want to give back and help everyone involved to make the most of their experience, whether it be the dancers or the customers!”
Her website contains free audios. One is designed for preparing ourselves work and another one for relaxing after work. Also, information about her interactive workshops available in person if you’re in Australia.
Follow her on Instagram @stripology_studyofthehustle
You can read my full interview with Wendy here.